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I am

Compared to her...

How to experience true contentment

Compared to her...

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Reveals the causes and effects of destructive comparisons, and shows how knowing Christ is the key to real contentment.

Description

"I am a recovering Compulsive Comparison Syndrome sufferer. It causes me to feel envy, despair, pride and superiority. It cuts away at my relationship with God, with my loved ones, and with myself. It has promised me contentment, and yet robbed me of it.
And although I don't know you at all, I'm fairly sure you have CCS, too. That's not meant to sound rude. It's just that I've rarely met a woman who doesn't struggle with it."

This book is about how to spot this syndrome and its effects in your life; the view of life that causes it; how the gospel treats it; and how you can move beyond it to live a life of true, lasting contentment.

Other information

Accessible, jargon-free and dealing with a struggle that women are very prone to, this is a really helpful book for encouraging women to think about how they compare themselves to others, as well as finding the way out of such a comparison-driven life.
-Kathy Keller, co-author of The Meaning of Marriage and Assistant Director of Communications at Redeemer Presbyterian Church, NY

We all need help to take our eyes off the gifts we do or don't have, so that we can turn our gaze to the Gift-giver Himself. This book is a helpful guide for that process—it's compassionate, honest, and truthful.
-Carolyn McCulley, author of Radical Womanhood, conference speaker and Director of Citygate Films

Sophie's honesty made me swallow hard, not because of what it told me about herself but what it revealed in me. Looking up and looking down at others is something we all do yet for many of us it's so habitual we hardly notice we're doing it. Unfortunately the consequences are far more evident. This book takes a good hard look at how we compare ourselves to others and the reasons why we do it. It's a problem we just can not afford to ignore! Sophie offers hope by presenting the God given remedy and convincing us that rather than being doomed to dissatisfaction, contentment is a realistic option.
-Jane McNabb, author of Daylight at Midnight and conference speaker

We all know we do it and we think we know why. Sophie de Witt exposes the malignancy of the disease through a thorough, Biblical analysis of the problem, pointing out the paucity of standard solutions. If you ever thought that recollecting that ‘there are so many others worse off than yourself’ is any kind of a cure for self-pity, then read this book. It is a real page-turner – I could not wait to read about the treatment, and was intrigued and encouraged to discover that there is such a thing as healthy comparison. A book to read, and read again.
-Ann Benton, Author and conference speaker

Sophie de Witt has written a book that sounds a crucial warning to Christians buffeted and tossed in a culture of overwhelming comparison. It comes out of years of personal experience and theological reflection and is a real gift to the church.
-Rico Tice, Assistant Minister, All Souls Langham Place, founder of Christianity Explored Ministries

Sophie has done a good job of exposing an all-too-common problem that we all face (not just women!). Full of biblical wisdom and realism, this book will be a great help to many people.
-Mark Meynell, Senior Associate Pastor, All Soul’s Langham Place, author of Cross Examined and Quarentia blog

I started to read this book assuming that it was written for other women - that while others may struggle with CCS - or Compulsive Comparison Syndrome to give it its full title - I was not like them. Yet within a few pages I had started to recognise myself from the symptoms Sophie described and was starting to squirm. By the end I'd come to the firm conclusion that this is a book that every Christian woman should read. It's full of clear insights into the kind of sins that we so easily overlook, biblical wisdom and gospel hope. I trust that the Lord will use it in the lives of all who read it.
-Elspeth Pitt, Women’s Worker, St Helen’s Bishopsgate

This book is simple but profound - and profoundly helpful. The common problem of comparison, with all its poisonous results, is exposed and laid bare to be seen for what it is. In its place comes biblical truth giving life and health and wholeness.
-Graham Beynon, Church Planter and author of Mirror Mirror

Sophie de Witt draws our attention to ‘Compulsive Comparison Syndrome’ (a need for us to compare ourselves with others) and her examples are funny, sad and to the point, helping everyone to identify one or other of the symptoms of the condition. Then she asks why we compare ourselves to others, or why we look down on those who we perceive to be worse than we are. She then takes us to God’s word and shows us how to deal with this “Syndrome” and turn our attention on to Christ, who is the only one who can make us content. A must “read” for all women of all ages.
-Beulah Retief, Dean of Women at George Whitfield College in Cape Town, South Africa, conference speaker and author of Healing a Mother’s Heart

In this helpful and thought-provoking book, Sophie gives us wonderful pastoral insights about a complex and challenging subject—the human heart. With theological soundness, clarity and simplicity, Sophie helps us see the distortive and destructive power of worldly comparison, and points us to Christ. In an age where we so often become the source of our own pain, heartache and discouragement, this book is a must read in helping us to unleash ourselves from ourselves.
-Sarie King,Conference speaker and trainer; blogger at complementarityandculture.com

In this engaging and refreshingly honest book, Sophie de Witt gives women hope. She shows how we can be freed from the trap of comparing ourselves to others, and how we can find satisfaction, security, and significance, in the life we actually have.
-Jane M. Tooher, Director of The Priscilla and Aquila Centre, Moore Theological College

This moving and compassionate book analyses some of our deepest feelings from the point of view of God's Word. It's a confronting read in some places as Sophie describes the many areas in our lives where we fail to let God be God. But it points us with great effect to the true contentment we can have in Christ Jesus. I warmly commend it.
-Christine Jensen, leader of Sydney Diocese Ministry Wives and President of the Australian Mother’s Union

Do you yearn for contentment? Do you know anyone who does? (We've now covered everyone.) Then please read this book. It diagnoses our condition with insight and humour, and offers the only true cure with clear and practical explanation. Read it, then give it away. We all need it.
-Dr Kirsten Birkett, author and lecturer in Pastoral Counselling and Youth and Children's Ministry at Oak Hill College

If you’re anything like me, you’d love to be free from the discontent, insecurity, envy and pride that come from comparing yourself to others. Sophie de Witt writes like a trusted physician, clearly identifying the symptoms and cause of Compulsive Comparison Syndrome and offering treatment for this illness of the heart. Her delightful little book can be read in one sitting, but will go on working its cure for a lifetime.
-Jean Williams, author and blogger

Table of contents

  • Introduction
  • 1. What is CCS?
  • 2. Symptoms
  • 3. Triggers
  • 4. Outlook
  • 5. Cause
  • 6. Treatment
  • 7. Healthy living
  • 8. The contented woman

Additional Information

Author Sophie de Witt
ISBN 9781908762429
Format Paperback
Dimensions 129mm x 198mm
Pages 96
Publisher The Good Book Company

Customer Reviews

Brilliant!

 This book really resonated with my experience! All women should read it. Very encouraging and helpful. 

| Review by | 10/01/2013

So pass-on-able I have already done so twice!

 This book is excellent. It exhorts us to find our satisfaction, security and significance in Christ but in such a way that we first see how sin takes hold in this area and then see how the gospel offers freedom. The application is so specific that it's impossible to dodge! 

| Review by | 26/12/2012

A must have!

 'My other half (who I honestly used to joke was my “better” half) would surely back up my confession that when we met I used to compare myself with others like something chronic! If it was not my sister, it was my parents... colleagues... friends... the lady on the tube... God himself... the list was endless. Even once I’d met Jesus, a hugely reassuring event, I quickly found myself anxiously worrying whether I was “normal” and “good enough for God” despite the sins of my youth and my very present weaknesses. On good days I would be proud to be “a success” and on bad days I would feel like “a total failure”. I swung from one extreme position on my plucked-from-thin-air ranking system to another and my mood with it!

This book put the magnifying glass over the problem and with gospel insight informed me: I was not alone, why we do this, of our design, how CCS affects us and our relationships with others (most importantly, our relationship with God), that it was not meant to be like this, how we can change and why this would delight God.

I can honestly say that since reading this book, I now have an explanation for my thoughts, can catch myself when I’m doing it, attempt to tell my head to drop it (with a prayer for help to God) and slowly and surely I hope I am making solid steps to a recovery from the exhausting CCS. Whilst old habits can trip us up from time to time, the knowledge of God’s amazing grace and patience He has with us as we learn is so encouraging.

I have read this book three times myself (leaving it on my nightstand for reference), given it to two friends since (one Christian, one just looking for answers), and recommended it to many more. A must have! I would love to see a masculine equivalent... I think this is a human condition!!' 

| Review by | 18/12/2012

Danger - this book could seriously affect you...

 An easy to read book, but not an easy content. It is accurate, challenging, biblical and helpful. Would recommend it. I will be rereading it. 

| Review by | 25/11/2012

Diagnosis spot on - remedy full of hope!

 Sophie has written a book that all women (and men!) should read. I've been chatting about this issue with a number of friends and it's been so interesting to see, firstly, how many of us did not recognise CCS in ourselves, until we started to explore the subject and, secondly, how negatively our CCS impacts our lives and our trust in Jesus. Sophie's book has revealed for many women the sin and danger in CCS. Yet, she also provides us with clear picture of how to combat CCS. It's not all doom and gloom. I love that Sophie writes this book from the perspective of a fellow CCS sufferer. At no time did I feel talked down to. Rather, I felt like I was walking along the same road with my sister-in-Christ talking about the issues we both face in such a way that our conversation is filled with shared struggle but immense encouragement and hope. It's a conversation that ends with a hug and renewed fervour to live our lives trusting the One who saves us! Thank you, Sophie! 

| Review by | 18/11/2012

Honest, real, challenging, Biblical, hugely helpful

 I am really thrilled to have read this. Sophie is real about what we all do in comparing ourselves with those around us, and the insecurity that breeds. She clearly shows why we do this, that it is not a new problem, and why it can be so damaging. It affects our relationships with others, how we view ourselves, and how we view God. This book is so helpful in the way it brings Biblical truth to this area, as it challenges us to let God be God in our lives and find true security, satisfaction and significance in knowing Jesus.
I will be reading this again (and again...!) and recommending it and giving it to friends. Easy to read, and a helpful challenge with hope from a fellow CCS sufferer. 

| Review by | 07/11/2012

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