If Elen looked chilled out at 12 weeks, the 20-week scan revealed a baby who was so content as she slouched about in her cosy embryonic armchair that she showed no sign of ever wanting to emerge. As the pregnancy developed, she did not budge an inch, refusing to get into the ‘engaged’ position (“Ready or not, here i come!”), opting instead for the ‘breach’ position (“We shall not, we shall not be moved!”)
Giving birth to a baby in breach is dangerous for both the baby and the mother, so Michelle agreed to give birth by elective caesarean section, meaning that she would go in for a pre-planned operation a week before the baby was due. No breaking waters, no contractions, all a bit surreal really. All of a sudden our answer to the question “when’s the baby due?” was “9am next Tuesday!”
So when 9am next tuesday arrived, Elen’s peace and quiet was disturbed forever as she was hoisted out of the ‘sunroof’ and entered the bright lights of the real world. As the midwife placed this tiny, gorgeous girl into my arms it was one of the most intense, memorable, awe-inspiring moments that I had ever experienced. This precious little person in my arms was my daughter. My own flesh and blood. My responsibilty.
The landscape of my life had just changed forever – and I was buzzin!
It’s no exaggeration to say that within 2 minutes of holding Elen I was a completely different man. I felt my roughest edges melt away as I was overwhelmed by a love that was unlike anything else I had ever known. It was so raw, so powerful and so deep that I didn’t know how to process it properly. I just wanted to nurture, protect, love and encourage her forever.
Why did I love her so much? To this point she had done absolutely nothing to deserve it – she hadn’t given me any gifts or done me any favours. She literally came to me with nothing in her hands.
I guess I just loved her because she was mine.
She was part of me.
In that moment I wanted her to know how much I loved her. I wanted her to grow up so secure in that love that she would one day feel able to love me back. I guess that’s the essence of all true relationships - unconditional love inspires unconditional love.
Incredibly, that’s exactly what God’s love is like for us! The Greek word for love in the Bible is ‘agape’, which describes a love that is rooted in the desire of someone to give love, rather than in the worthiness of the recipient to receive it. It’s an awesome word! One of Jesus' best mates called John once wrote:
“We love because He first loved us.” (1John 4v19)
That’s awesome.
Dai Hankey is a church-planting pastor in South Wales and the author of the The Hard Corps soon to be published by The Good Book Company.
Dai Hankey is a church-planting pastor in Cardiff, where he lives with his wife, Michelle, and four young children. He is founder of Red Community, a Christian charity that fights human trafficking in Wales. Dai is a former skateboarder and loves to DJ. He is the author of The Hard Corps, A Man's Greatest Challenge and the Eric Says… series.
