There are likely to be carers in your congregation – among those who are fully integrated or those on the periphery. Some will be coping. Some wont. Here are our top 6 tips on supporting those who care for others.
Pray
In your services, on your notice-sheets, in your own personal quiet times pray for the physical, emotional and spiritual perseverance of those who care. Ask them for their own specific pray requests too.
Pop in
They will be able to tell you the best time. Don’t avoid them – pop in. Both the carer and the cared-for will appreciate the thought. The visits don’t need to be long, the conversation doesn’t need to be profound – it’s knowing that someone loves you that counts. Please just make sure your conversation doesn’t just revolve around the person being cared for – remembering the carer is an individual whose interests extend beyond caring is important.
Point them to Jesus
Take along a CD of the sermon (yes, I know they can download it, but they probably don’t have time). Offer to pray with them. Tell them what happened at home group this week (the spiritual bit and the news). Offer to read the Bible with them – just a Psalm and a single question “what strikes you?” may well be enough. Make sure that someone brings them communion if they can’t make it on Sundays too.
Provide help and respite
Can you sit with the cared-for person while the carer goes out for the evening? Can you bring some shopping? Or offer to go to the library? Can you provide a lift to the optician? Or offer to go away for the weekend with them so there’s an extra pair of hands? Can you mow the lawn? Help with the tax-return or chat over the pros and cons of trying a new treatment regime? Share in the weekly dusting? Provide a meal or take them out for a bite? Will the church pay for some respite care if finances are tight? Can you pop round with a DVD and watch it with the carer … without worrying if the pause button has to get pressed half a dozen times. It will vary from situation to situation what is needed most but even the smallest offer of help can feel like a lifeline.
Promote accountability
No-one wants to discuss the abuse of vulnerable adults. But it happens. It happens in unregulated care-homes from time to time. It happens in families. Verbal abuse, physical abuse can – occasionally – become the pattern. Don’t be afraid to ask tough questions. Lead people in repentance. And point them to external sources of help where necessary. Accountability is essential for any form of long-haul ministering.
Praise God for their sacrifice
Thank God and tell them that you are thanking God for their loving sacrifice. Help them to know that what they are doing is important, vital and glorifying to God.
