Three ways to love your homegroup

There's nothing more depressing for a home group leader than members who don't show up.

Sometimes it's inevitable - people who have jobs that take them away. People who are part of messy, chaotic families. People who struggle with illness. We should cut them slack.

But then there are those for whom the weekly Bible study just does not appear to be a priority. How can we encourage them?

Perhaps the root of the problem is that these friends often view homegroup as just another "event" that we show up to for our own enjoyment or benefit. And because it is mentally filed as such, it immediately becomes optional. It is thrown out in favour of a drink with friends, a desire to work late, a vague feeling of tiredness, or a TV programme they would rather stay home and watch. The key to changing their discouraging attendance pattern is to change their thinking about what a homegroup really is.

It is an expression of what God is doing in and through us - making us part of his people in Christ, and through us reaching out to a lost world with the only message that can rescue them from futility and hell. We are a community, called together and formed by Jesus himself. The homegroup is the place where those essential aspects of church most readily happen. Growth, prayer, pastoral support and encouragement.

If you lead a group, you've got to go the extra mile and sell it. Rather than chiding or criticising because we feel hurt and rejected when someone doesn't show (yet again), how about using some encouragement like this that reinforces the true nature of the group, rather than reinforcing its optional nature:

• "Sorry you missed last week - we had an amazing time. It really challenged us all"
• Jane missed you on Wednesday - she could have done with your insight on something she is struggling with. Are you able to offer her some support with that?
• "Shame you weren't there - I would have loved to hear your view on xxx that we were discussing."
• Would you like me to email you a list of prayer requests so you can support other group members through the week?"
• "Let us know what we can pray for you"
• "Are there any people you know who we could pray for who you are wanting to witness to?"

These are statements that will reinforce a new way of thinking for reluctant members:

• Presence: Turn up! But not just for your own benefit - for others too. Sometimes an absence is avoidable through work commitments or travel. But every time you fail to show, it is a discouragement to the others in the room. Just by being there you will help them, and be in the place where you can find some encouragement and support - even when it is the last thing you want.
• Participation: Because you are unique, your relationship with God is unique. Your experience, your questions, your insight into God's word will all be of enormous benefit to others in the group. It is not only for you to grow as a disciple, it is for you to help nurture others and help them grow as believers. So come prepared to participate.
• Pray: When we work, we work, but when we pray, God works! At our homegroups we pray together for the life of the church, for each other, and for the work of the gospel in the lives of our friends. In the busyness of life it is very easy to lose a sense of reality about the world under God. We start to believe the world's lies. What greater encouragement is there than seeing our loving, sovereign God answering our prayers week by week. What greater privilege is there than sharing our lives and struggles together and bringing them before our heavenly Father.