Seven things I want my toddler to thank his mummy for (in twenty years)

My son is nearly two—he delegated to me the task of buying his mother a Mothers’ Day card and writing a message in it. I’m coaching him to say “Thank you mummy” on Sunday (it will come out, at best, as “Thar Thaw Mummeeeee”).

But what do I hope he will say thank you for, in twenty years, as he looks back on having grown up with a Christian mother? Here’s what I’d love him to say as a 21-year-old, as he gives his mum some Mother’s Day chocolates (chocolates, not flowers, son—chocolates tend to get shared with husbands, flowers just get looked at on mantelpieces):

1. Thank you for putting Christ before me. You taught me from the word go that I’m not the centre of your world, because I’m not the centre of the world. And you told me who does have that position—the Lord Jesus.

2. Thank you for showing me grace, not works. You did so much for me, and you never threw it back at me to make me feel guilty, never suggested that your love depended on me reaching a certain standard, never held a grudge after I’d let you down, never wondered out loud why you bothered. Thank you for disciplining me fairly and firmly, and forgiving me completely and repeatedly.

3. Thank you for showing me repentance, not false perfection. You made mistakes – lots of them. Thank you for not excusing them or belittling them. Thank you that you would stop and say sorry to me, and sorry to God in front of me. Thank you that you knew you were forgiven, and lived as though you were. And thank you that you always backed me, but never excused my sin or let me think I was good enough for God. Thank you that I learned from you not to wear a mask of self-righteousness, but that I can enjoy wearing Christ’s clothes of true righteousness.

4. Thank you for caring more about my character than my abilities. You encouraged me to be kind, thoughtful, patient and so on more than you urged me to do well at school, learn an instrument, get good at sport and so on. It’s not that you didn’t help me with homework, make me practise music, or take me to football; but I always knew that who I was, and who I was becoming, mattered more than what I could do.

5. Thank you for knowing that gospelling me was your and Dad’s job. Thank you that you told me Bible stories; sang Bible songs with me; prayed with me; and told me about God as we went about our day to day chores and trips. Thank you that you didn’t think you could delegate this job to my Sunday school leaders.

6. Thank you for loving Daddy. He makes mistakes, too (more than you, Mum). Thank you that you loved him; forgave him when you needed to and asked for forgiveness when you needed to; laughed with him; were affectionate with him; submitted to him; cried with him. Thank you that you did all those things in front of me, so that because of the wife you were to him, I know what it means to be a Christian man, husband and father.

7. Thank you for showing me what sacrificial love is. Every day of my life since the very first, you’ve done something for me that was hard or costly for you. In the way you’ve mothered me, I can see a glimmer of how Christ lived and died for me. You’ve shown me Christ.