So, how can those of us who tend towards independence change to the healthily inter-dependent people that God is calling us to be?
Remember - God is generous. He has lavished us with all we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). So, in calling us to community, he is not asking us to do anything that we aren't equipped to do. It may be scary - especially if we have been hurt in the past - but it is possible. This is part of his good will, he does not make mistakes and he is calling you to a more faithful life not asking you to endure pointless pain. Becoming someone who ever more shares their life with others is something that will make us all more like Jesus.
Repent - It's possible (maybe even probable) that our desire for independence has, until now, been driven by a desire that is stronger than our desire to be faithful. Maybe we want comfort or self-protection more than we want to spur others on? Maybe we want secrecy more than accountability and help to address our secret sins? Maybe we hold pride more dear than humility? If those - or similar - things are true of you, it's time to run to the cross and ask forgiveness of the saviour who died for you.
Reorientate - Take a moment to look at your life. Where exactly is it falling short? Try not to look at the externals - turning up for home group is one thing, but are we really sharing while there? Do we know people's needs well enough to pray for them in an informed way and to support them in practically appropriate ways? Do they know our needs in return? Being a good listener when others are hurting is great but with whom do we share? Who knows our embarrassing sin and is helping us walk to freedom? Be strategic - in what areas do we need change; try to imagine what that change might look like.
Relate - Go for it! That doesn't mean telling everyone our life history and giving a detailed outline of all our struggles to anyone who passes our line of sight but it does mean making some changes. Maybe make one change to start with (with plans to make more later on). Choose one trustworthy person in whom you can confide one struggle. Choose one person to invite out for coffee and find out how they are doing - really doing. And then follow up in prayer, accountability and care as God has designed us to do.
It wont be a decision that God will regret us making ...
