Why you should be talking to your children about gender

Brian Seagraves | September 18th 2018

There’s a conversation going on about gender and our kids are listening in. The question is not “will our children be a part of this conversation?” but rather, “will we lead it?”

The problem: misplaced identity

Have you noticed that our culture discusses hot-button issues differently than it did ten years ago? It seems that people are much quicker to label disagreement as “hatred” or “bigotry.” Failing to affirm what someone believes or does can often be taken as failing to love them at all. While there are many reasons for this, the main reason is that society has bought into the lie that people are what they believe and what they do. Think about it: if this is true and someone critiques your beliefs, you’re much more likely to consider a mere rejection of ideas as a rejection of you personally.



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How to articulate the Bible's view on gender to children as they grow up

We all have a longing to be loved and accepted. Often, our fallenness leads us to want to be accepted for our brokenness, not in spite of it. Our identity can become based on things directly opposed to God’s design. The antidote to this problem is the gospel, where we find acceptance by God in the midst of our brokenness, not because of it; we find fulfillment that was elusive when we tried to locate our identity and self-worth internally.

When our identity is based on anything other than being an adopted and ransomed child of God, we stand awaiting an inevitable fall.

We all live in a world that is vying not only for our attention but also our allegiance. This sets Christians—especially children—up for an inevitable collision. When two objects collide, the stronger prevails over the weaker.

Raising children in this culture

We have to raise our children in the world the way it is, not the way we would like it to be.

As parents and pastors, we need to be equipped with what the Bible says about gender and how to approach it with our children in an appropriate way for their respective ages.

In a world cluttered with opinions about gender, we don’t need to be louder; we need to be clearer

In a very real way, our children need to be trained to handle the strongest assault the world will bring, and yet remain committed to God’s word.

In a world cluttered with opinions about gender, sexuality, race, and truth, we don’t need to be louder; we need to be clearer. We need to be compelling and competent to answer the questions that face the next generation, and to do so in a way that is loving, intelligent and honoring to God.

Gender: A Conversation Guide for Parents and Pastors by Brian Seagraves and Hunter Leavine is available to buy now.

Brian Seagraves

Brian Seagraves is a software developer and Christian apologist. He lives in Tallahassee, Florida, with his wife Patti, where he is part of City Church.

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