Watching porn with your spouse certainly takes away the secrecy of the experience, but there are still some tough questions to be asked about why you would want to watch other people simulate pleasurable sex (sometimes under coerced conditions).
If you have problems in your sexual relationship, this can be very distressing, but there are more reputable books written by sex therapists where you can look for solutions to the problems you may be having. These will give you ideas or reassurance from people who understand marital struggles, and this is a far better strategy than trying to glean tips from actors and actresses in the adult industry.
If you want to use porn to spice up your love-life, then alarm bells need to be sounding in your mind. Watching another man (or woman) get aroused will not give long-term help to your own sex life—it is far more likely that you will find it increasingly difficult to get aroused without the help of porn, and your relationship may well suffer as a result. The Bible is clear that:
Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13 v 4
Thinking lustfully about someone on screen is inner adultery. Porn is not a gateway to purity in marriage.
This is an extract from Helen Thorne's book: Purity is Possible
Helen Thorne is Director of Training and Resources at Biblical Counselling UK. She formerly worked with the London City Mission and has written Hope in an Anxious World, Purity Is Possible, Walking with Domestic Abuse Sufferers and 5 Things to Pray for Your City. She attends Dundonald Church in Raynes Park, London.