Say the Right Thing

Jen Oshman

Carolyn Lacey prioritizes the goodness we see in God’s word and in God himself, and then she helps us to ponder how our own words might reflect that goodness in all kinds of situations. If you struggle with what to say or how to say it, this book will strengthen you!

Paul Mallard

In this inspiring book, Carolyn Lacey helps us to appreciate just how important words are—helping us to see how our words can become channels of blessing into the lives of others. It is not just a matter of avoiding toxic words.

“Learning to Say the Right Thing”

{First posted here: https://www.amberthiessen.com/post/did-i-say-that-thoughts-on-speaking-the-right-thing}

I don't always say the right thing.

I wish I did... but I don't.

You're getting ready for bed, the events of the day flow through your mind and those misspoken words jump out at you, gripping your heart into a panic. You shout at yourself, "Why did I say that?!" Frustration and anxiety creep in.

In Say the Right Thing: How Your Words Can Glorify God and Encourage Others, Carolyn Lacey explores a hopeful vision for our speech and an active plan to keep our tongue on the path to glorifying God and speaking for the good of others. We're led into a picture where the landscape reveals words spoken with wisdom, truth, beauty, kindness, comfort and hope.

Doesn't it look peaceful?

Perhaps it even seems unattainable.

Yet, we can take heart, because the power to bring fruitfulness to our words comes from the Lord. He continues to renew us and transform us into His likeness every day as we abide in Him. Though perfection will come one glorious day, we take steps forward one at a time.

Looking back, it's easy to see how my poorly chosen words were let loose in moments of carelessness or self-importance. Looking ahead, I'm invited to both see and hear others intentionally.

(My counselling training has, by God's grace, helped me a lot with this too)

This is a very helpful resource if you're looking for a topical study on the words we speak. If it's something you're struggling with, or want to grow in, I'd recommend it! There's reflection questions at the end of each chapter, which make it good to use with small groups or for your own study.

*A big thanks to the Good Book Company for the complimentary copy of this book and for the opportunity to post an honest review.

“Really helpful”

I found this book really easy to read, very sharp and very challenging. Chapter highlights for me were ch 5 'Speaking kindness' and ch 6 'Speaking hope'. This would make a really good book club book as there's lots to chat over and pray about and to help one another with (& questions at the end of each chapter!).

“Clear, engaging and deserving of thought and prayer.”

Carolyn Lacey’s book can be read in hours; it is clear, engaging and Jesus-centred, but generously sprinkled with real-life examples. But it needs and deserves to be read thoughtfully and prayerfully over weeks, for there is much challenging material which would make for a stimulating small group course. The book is well structured, with key bible passages forming the focus of each chapter. There are pauses for thought and prayer and useful questions for reflection. One small quibble: references to other writers and speakers could have been fully cited at the end.

The speed with which my offer of this book to church members was taken up, shows that this is an area of Christian witness where so many of us feel diffident and insecure: sowing Christian seeds into our everyday conversations. Greater distinction, therefore, at certain points would have been welcome in defining the audience of our speaking: to believers or the yet-to-believe. Some have questioned whether they could imagine themselves saying some of Lacey’s suggested lines of conversation, but her words certainly set the reader in the right direction.

I liked Lacey’s positive approach: right speech is more about choosing to be wise, truthful, kind or comforting, etc. and less about the avoidance of lying, swearing or gossiping, for example. This book will make us all pause to think more before we speak so that our conversation may “be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that we may know how to answer everyone.” (Col.4:6). I have no hesitation in recommending this really useful resource.

“Short, excellent, encouraging read. Everyone should read this book.”

We all know that words can build up or tear down, but in “Say the Right Thing”, Carolyn Lacey takes it beyond what’s considered pleasant or kind and points us to what the Bible says about our words. Throughout its pages, this book time and again reminds us that we can glorify God and encourage others with our words. It involves things like speaking the truth without judgment, sharing the hope of the gospel despite sin and circumstances, and getting to the heart of the matter with a focus on eternity. This isn’t always easy, nor is it the popular or culture-encouraged way, but it’s the Biblical way; and for Christians, it should be the only way.

I have a couple of favorite quotes from each of the sections, but my favorite from the entire book is probably found on page 11: “Saying the right thing is not about being nice or polite: sometimes it means speaking the truth when people don’t want to hear it, or calling out wrong thinking and behavior…. It’s about letting our speech be shaped by God’s word rather than the world. And it’s about looking to bring glory to him in every conversation and interaction.”

And this one from pages 57-58: “But Jesus remind them of the truer, better story they are part of. He lifts their gaze from earthly concerns and reorients their hearts towards eternal treasure. And this is what our words can do, too. In every conversation, we have an opportunity to remind each other of the beauty of the gospel. To encourage one another to look beyond what is in view to what is eternal. And to reorient ourselves to the one who is most excellent and worth of all praise.”

“Say the Right Thing” might be a small book, but it packs a mighty punch with gospel-centered truths about our speech. Encouraging, convicting, and refining. Would definitely recommend for everyone to read. We can all use the reminder to use our speech to glory God and encourage others. There’s always room for improvement.

“SO HELPFUL”

As someone who often says the *wrong* thing, this book has been one of my favorite Good Book Company releases of 2023. It's brief, encouraging, helpful, practical, and honestly reassuring to read. I'm so thankful for it! If you have ever said the wrong thing, you need this book.

“So helpful!”

Carolyn Lacey has written so helpfully and clearly on a topic that can seem pretty daunting - how we use our words. Sometimes it’s easy to think that being Godly with our speech is about not saying very much at all, but ‘Say the right thing’ challenges and encourages us to see that we can and should use our words to the glory of God, and this book gives us the tools to help. It’s also packed full of scripture and helpful application, I definitely recommend giving it a read!

“Biblical and practical help for using our words well”

I loved 'Say the Right Thing'! Each chapter is Biblical and points to Christ, the one who always said the right thing. It was challenging to think through the way I use words to bring comfort, kindness and hope, but also how I could expand the way I use words to praise others and speak words of beauty. Carolyn Lacey is honest and realistic in her writing so that when I'd finished the book I felt there was hope for me to grow more like the Lord Jesus in how I speak. I pray that 'Say the Right Thing' will have a lasting impact in shaping the way I speak as the Holy Spirit works in me.

“Quick & Encouraging”

This quick, encouraging read is a good reminder and a focus on our words! What is the most right thing to say? He is worthy!! But so many practical tips with Biblical Truth and personal stories! I was convicted in the words I use in my mothering and encouraged to not just try to "say the right thing" but keep my eyes on Christ and have Him change my heart. And to also always have an answer for the hope I have!

“A Positive Case for Using Our Speech Well”

Having read a number of Christian books about this sort of theme in the past, the standard way to deal with our speech has seemed to be a strong warning to be careful with your words, listing all of the bad ways we can use our speech and telling us to be very careful to avoid those. Lacey takes a very different, much more positive approach, showing us how our words don't only have the power to harm, which we must avoid, but the power to glorify God and encourage others, building people up and pointing them towards God. It's a much more winsome way to pastor someone in the area of speech and definitely worth a read