Great quote in Tim Keller's new book, King's Cross, on the judgmentalism of not judging:
"The self-discovery person says 'The progressive, open-minded people are in and the judgmental bigots are outāand of course we're the open-minded ones.'
"In Western cosmopolitan culture there's an enormous amount of self-righteousness about self-righteousness. We progressive urbanites are so much better than people who think they're better than other people. We disdain those religious, moralistic types who look down on othersā¦
"[This attitude] leads to as much superiority and self-righteousness as religion does."
Itās so frustrating, isnāt it?
You wake in the middle of the night and canāt get back to sleep. Instead you toss and turn for hours. Or you canāt get to sleep in the first place. You just lie there worrying that youāll be exhausted in the morning.
A long-term illness means I spend many night-time hours wide awake, my mind racing and my body aching. Itās infuriating!
Those small hours of the morning focus the mindābut the focus is you. Introspection reigns.
DON'T WASTE THE TIME
So what do you do if youāre awake when you donāt want to be? Naturally, I find my mind focuses on me. My worries, my busy-ness, my need to sleep! But that just makes things worse.
For me, the answer is to pray. Now that sounds dreadfully āholyā ā but it grew from a pragmatic start. I needed to find a way to keep those night-time hours under control.
So now I ask my friends to tell me things I can pray for them. Nothing complicatedāI donāt want to turn on a light to read a list. Short, simple requests that I can remember easily, and bring to mind when Iām awake.
All I do is think of a friend or colleague, and start to pray for them.
Itās a very simple idea (Iām ashamed it took me so long to think of it) but itās made a huge difference. My focus is moved away from myself and towards others. Iām reminded that God, who also doesnāt sleep(!), is with me and hearing my prayers.
TIME WELL SPENT
And instead of those waking hours feeling like a waste of time, they become time well spent. That in turn reduces the frustration, which is sometimes enough to lull me back to sleep.
Itās a very simple idea, but for me it works. Next time youāre awake when you donāt want to beāwhy not try it?
And, if youāve found times that can be well-spent praying for others instead of thinking about yourselfāplease put them in a comment below, so I can learn from them!
Lurpak, the spreadable people, have just released this billboard ad. There's a huge one on Waterloo station that thousands walk past each day.
We've blanked out the ending, and my question is: if you could complete the sentence, and have thousands read it daily, what bubble of false hope would you like to burst?
I'd love to make first prize being able to use a large tub of paint to change the wording on the Waterloo station ad, but that'd probably get me into troubleā¦
PS You can find where Lurpak say salvation can't be found here and if you understand what they're talking about, please do let us know because we're slightly confused!
Happy Valentine's Dayā¦ and here's a Valentine-ish stat.
Of all the songs with the word "love" in the title, the most-played in public (radio, shops and so on) isā¦
Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis.
Of course, her song (which I have to confess I have on my iPod) is all about her bleeding love. But maybe on this, the day when love is most commercialised and soppy-fied, it's worth remembering that in her title, she's right.
Real love bleeds.
Real love, as Leona puts it, really does "wear these scars for everyone to see."
"A law which will end up hauling vicars before courts."
Rod Thomas, chair of the evangelical group Reform, was on Radio 4's Today programme in a short debate about the proposed legislation making religious buildings available for same-sex civil partnerships.
It's well worth listening to the points he made here.
A great line from the new blockbuster western True Grit, out in UK cinemas this week:
āYou must pay for everything in this world, for there is nothing freeāexcept the grace of God.ā
āLooking back at the key turning points in your journey of faith, odds are there will be certain individuals who have deeply influenced you at these points; individuals who cared and gave you their time, who taught you from the Scriptures and prayed for you.ā
And wouldnāt it be great to be the kind of individual who others are able to look at in this way? But, as Sophie de Witt points out in One-to-One, āthe biggest question with one-to-one work is usually āHowā?ā
And thatās why sheās written this book. Itās a kind of manual for why and how to one-to-one with someone. Itās really practical: but itās never less than biblical. Itās clear, itās challenging, and itās encouraging.
And (like every book should be!) itās not long, and itās not hard to read. It has some great ideas in it for where to go in the Bible as you start and what questions to ask.
My only quibble is that Iām not sure I agree with Sophie that every āsenior partnerā of a one-to-one relationship should be aiming to write their own studies: if youāre short on time and experience, get some decent notes, use someone elseās hard work and wisdom, and get going without worrying that the studies arenāt yours.
But thatās a small speck of complaint; the rest of the book is gold-dust. Iām so glad I read it a couple of years ago, while I was doing one-to-ones; I wish Iād read it years ago, when I began doing one-to-ones.
So itās a must-read, really, if you would like to get started but arenāt sure how; if youāve been doing one-to-ones for a while; or if youāre a pastor wanting to encourage and train others in one-to-one ministry.
And itās a must-read because, as we hope weāve persuaded you this week, a widespread one-to-one ministry is a bit of a must-have for a growing church. As Sophie points out: āThe evangelical church around the world today might be growing, but ā¦ what is often lacking is a commitment to following the Lord Jesus that thoroughly affects every area of a personās life.
āCould this be because individuals are not being trained to study and apply the Scriptures for themselves and in turn to help others grow in their discipleship?ā
If you want to get going or keep going with one-to-oneing, buying Sophieās book is a great place to start, which you can do here. And itās just been reduced from Ā£7 to Ā£5: but stocks are limitedā¦
For a short introduction to what one-to-oneing is, just click here.
Carl Laferton pastored sunday@seven, an evening congregation for teenagers and young adults in west Hull.
For a short introduction to what one-to-oneing is, just click here.
There are some great resources to use with for reading the Bible one-to-one with teenagers.
Start is a 29 study booklet, aimed at non-Christians and new Christians. Costing only Ā£3 (so that's about 10.3p a study!), one of its best features is that it doesnāt simply do gospel basics, or Christian living basics: it does both.
One of the best reasons for one-to-oneing with a teenager is that it models to, and equips, them to read the Bible for themselves. One way of doing this is to use some printed regular Bible study notes; you do a study (or two) together when you meet up; then you each do three or four during the rest of the week on your own; and then share what encouraged and challenged you the next week before moving on to the next study in the book.
That way, when you finish one-to-oneing with them, they (and maybe you!) will hopefully carry on using those notes to read the Bible on their own. So why not grab some Engage notes, written for older teens: just Ā£4 for 90 studies, bargain!
A couple of things worth remembering: always get parental permission! And make sure thereās a games console involved for most teenage lads (I have no idea what the female equivalent is!)
For a short introduction to what one-to-oneing is, just click here.
