Once we have overcome our worries, how can we ensure we are clear? In this post we'll be looking at helpful ways of speaking to language-learners.
A. Keep things simple and direct, especially for those whose English is basic. Sounds obvious but “simple and direct” can feel a bit intrusive and impolite. We often tend to be circumspect when talking to people we don’t know—we multiply words!
| We may like: | They would prefer: | |
| I guess you live locally, do you? | Where do you live? | |
| I can’t quite work out where you’re from. | Where are you from? or What is your nationality? | |
| So you’re here to study or…? | Are you a student? (followed by: What do you study?) |
B. Be ready to ask plenty of questions. It’s more difficult for language learners to construct questions, so you are responsible for driving the conversation. Usually open questions (what/where/who/how/ why) are preferable to closed questions (yes/no). But for basic-English speakers it’s best to ask a closed question first (it’s easy for them to answer) and then follow up with an open question:
Are you a student? (Yes) then… What do you study?
Or… (No) then… Do you have a job? Followed by… What do you do?
C. Give them time. Don’t be afraid of a bit of silence. Smile encouragingly. After a moment ask: Do you understand? If they don’t, repeat the question… or change it to something simpler… or write it down… or get someone to translate.
D. Don’t be put off by short answers. For example: Is this your first time here?—Yes. Unfortunately, in English this kind of “blunt” answer usually suggests lack of interest or dislike. We prefer to multiply words: Yes, it is actually, yes. (Five words in place of one!) Language learners answer “bluntly” not because they dislike you but because it’s easier!
E. Answer your own questions. If you’ve asked where they live, let them answer and then explain where you live. This avoids a one-sided interrogation. It keeps the conversation going and the language-learner finds out about you without having to formulate questions themselves.
F. Have a pen and notebook handy. Invaluable! You can write down names, or words/phrases they don’t understand. They can write stuff that you can’t understand. Also useful for contact details, maps etc.
G. Get another Christian to join in. To keep the conversation going when you run out of things to say. To pick up words that you fail to understand because of foreign pronunciation. To explain something more clearly when you can’t make yourself understood. To become a second British friend. And to pray with you for this person.
Now, all these tips may make you feel it’s too tricky to talk to any international. If that’s you, then let me reassure you that nothing is more valuable than gospel-hearted love for others and prayerful dependence on God. These will get you through any number of misunderstandings, miscommunications and cross-cultural crises.
So, why not go find someone from overseas and get stuck in?
Perhaps you’d like to get talking with someone from overseas but there are all sorts of things you worry about:
For starters, what attitudes will help us overcome some of these worries? Here are my tips…
A. I don’t need to know lots about a person’s culture or religion before I befriend them. We’re certainly both human beings and most likely we share the same gender. So what we have in common significantly outweighs our differences. Both of us are made in God’s image… have fallen short of his glory… respond to warm, loving relationships… fear death… look for meaning in our lives… feel guilty about wrong-doing… and can be redeemed through Jesus Christ.
View this friendship as a journey of discovery about another culture or religion. Listen carefully, watch closely and be kind. Most people love to guide someone through their traditions and customs. And as they share their values, we can do the same. Our ignorance of someone’s beliefs becomes a wonderful opportunity to talk about spiritual matters. Ask questions about their religion; then show them how it compares with the Christian good news.
B. My relationship with this person could be hugely significant. It’s quite possible that I’m the only native Brit to befriend them. Most language students only ever meet English-speakers in a professional capacity and their friends are all foreign language-learners like themselves. Ex-pat communities provide much of what their fellow-countrymen need, resulting in little contact with Brits, let alone friendships. More importantly, I may be the first real Christian that this person has met. So we have both a tremendous opportunity and incentive to get to know them.
C. However stressful it is for me to talk to a language-learner, it’s far more stressful for them. They may struggle to formulate questions and answers in English, or to make themselves understood. They may feel ashamed of their lack of English, and confused about what this new culture expects of them. They will feel frustrated that they can’t express themselves adequately. Like you they fear being embarrassed.
If you’ve ever tried to use rusty foreign-language “skills” on holiday abroad, you’ll understood the pressure and panic caused by attempting even basic conversations in a second language. But despite this, for most language-learners, a conversation with a native English-speaker is a real bonus.
D. Don’t underestimate the value of compassion, a servant heart, and a self-deprecating sense of humour. These will get us through most of the misunderstandings and odd embarrassments that can occur in cross-cultural relationships. Internationals are human too—like us they respond to kindness, apologies and the funny side of things.
Not so long ago western Christians had to travel to take the gospel to nations of the world. These days English is the international language of choice for commerce, IT, academics, politics and diplomacy. And the world comes to us. So Christians in English-speaking countries have amazing opportunities to reach the world for the gospel without having to move anywhere.
You may think that you live in a predominantly “white British” area. I live in a small London suburb that looks like that. But a local church ministry to internationals here has made contact with more than 30 different nationalities! How many nations could be reached on your doorstep, by your church, in your local community?
This week on the blog we're going to look at how we can encourage one another to get involved in ministry with the international community living near each of us.
What internationals might be living in your community?
The first step is to identify the communities near you. Perhaps there are international uni students here for three or more years. Or English-language students visiting for a few months. There will be asylum seekers, ex-pat workers, au pairs, migrants recruited to fill employment gaps, and those travelling the world. Look out for ethnic grocery stores; community noticeboards advertising English classes and interpreting services; non-English-speaking parents at the school gate.
Making contact with internationals
It’s not easy for internationals to make friends with British people. Some live here for years but never enter a British home or eat home-cooked British food. Brits tend to be polite but reserved, and many of us are anxious about talking to someone who has limited English or a heavy foreign accent. (If that’s you, look out for our upcoming article on “Crossing the language barrier” tomorrow.) If you befriend an international—welcome them into your home, share food and traditions with them, take an interest in their culture and custom—most will be delighted to get to know you.
Ideas to get you started:
We need to be biblical. We have to be clear. And every youth worker wants to be relevant. But does that mean including technology as part and parcel of our teaching? And if so, to what extent? When does a useful tool because a distracting burden? Or a trendy gimmick that helps no-one...
In this seminar first given at the Bible-centred Youthworker conference earlier this year, Jon Bradley looks at the role of technology in youth work.
Two organizations, both of which exist to push a particular belief system, have recently booked advertising space on London buses, promoting different ideas about the same thing. One’s on the side of buses. The other’s been banned.
Advert One
The first advert reads: Some people are gay. Get over it.
The first sentence is a statement about identity. Some people self-label themselves as “gay” because they experience and act on same-sex attraction, and see this as a core part of their identity. The last sentence is suggesting that some people have a problem with the first sentence, and shouldn’t do. In other words, it’s a statement of belief, a value judgment on anyone who thinks that being actively, physically homosexual is not right.
Advert Two
The second advert reads: Not gay! Ex-gay, post-gay and proud. Get over it.
The first two sentences are statements about identity. Some people self-label themselves as not gay, either because they have never experienced same-sex attraction, or because they used to but no longer do, or because they have decided there is something about who they are which is more important than their physical attractions, and so have taken the choice not to act on how they feel. The last sentence is suggesting that some people have a problem with the first two sentences, and shouldn’t do. It’s another statement of belief, a value judgment on anyone who thinks that the idea of someone moving beyond same-sex attraction, or choosing not to act on that attraction, or choosing to think that that attraction is not right, are themselves not right.
So both adverts are simply two different ways of looking at identity, and two different value judgments of other people’s beliefs. And, let’s face it, both actually suggest that others are wrong to hold the views they do.
The first advert has run. The second has been banned. London Mayor Boris Johnson decided that his own value judgment was more important than free speech, and stated strongly that the second ad shouldn’t run.
What it tells us
Why does this matter? Because it shows that we’re into a new phase of public discourse about homosexuality. It’s not that there are now two views, each opposing the other, jostling for a hearing and for support in the public arena. It’s that now, there is only one view allowed in the public arena. Stonewall—the pro-actively-gay lobby group who paid for the first ad—are allowed to make statements about identity and value judgments about those they consider wrong. Anglican Mainstream and Core Issues—the Christian groups who booked the second ad—are not.
Here’s what Stonewall said of the decision to ban people who hold different views to theirs: “We are delighted by TfL’s clear commitment to diversity [diversity that isn’t actually diverse enough to include people who disagree with us]. It is fantastic that no adverts will be promoting voodoo, gay-cure therapy [can you imagine what would happen if a group holding the opposite view used such loaded words as “voodoo”?].”
Aggressively pushing a belief; using extreme words to describe others' views; refusing to accept that some people's experience might not fit in with your view of the world; and opposing the right of those who don’t agree with you even to have their voice heard. But that's all fine, because they're not Christians…
It might be that the Easter break couldn't come soon enough! The work/life/family/friends/church/rest balance has got out of hand. The Busy Christians Guide to Busyness is a brilliant book to help you get a godly attitude to time and commitments. It's a highly recommended read!!
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The Church of England needs its own rebirth
The American separation of church and state is a myth – just ask Barack Obama
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I have always loved God’s creation of seasons, and His promise that they’ll continue as long as this world does (Genesis 8 v 22). There’s so much variety – especially living in the UK. I even have two seasons in my flat – summer at the front, winter at the back (which is why I’m wearing fingerless gloves to type!). But my favourite thing about seasons is that it means we get Christmas every year, and Pentecost, and Advent, and… Easter.
Many of the children’s and youth workers I know have been running Easter clubs and events. It’s a fantastic opportunity to focus on the cross. I find that children, unlike some adults, have no problem with the concept of sin. They’re used to being in trouble; they know they mess up; they recognise their need for forgiveness. So the death of Jesus for their sins makes sense (if I can put it that way) for many of them. As does the fact that the resurrection shows that God accepted Jesus’ payment in full.
But I know that many of these children come to holiday club and not much else, which can mean the message of the cross is once-a-year. And while it’s great that the seasons give us this annual focus on the Easter events, I find myself wanting to home in on the cross all year round. Which is why I’m so pleased with many of our supermarkets. The Easter eggs have all gone – but something remains. Have you noticed that hot cross buns are now an all-year phenomenon? That’s great if we like them, but even better when we’re looking for visual aids. How about giving an “Easter talk” at a completely different time of year; then giving everyone a hot cross bun afterwards? The cross isn’t just for Easter – it’s for life.
PS That’s the reason this year’s children’s “Easter tract” doesn’t look Easterish. The message of the cross is for any and all seasons, and I’m hoping the tract can be used that way too.
